Angry Girl Music..

Yesterday I downloaded a copy of Alanis Morrisette's "Jagged Little Pill" album.. If no-one remembers her she's the brunette with serious long hair, a nasally wail, an attitude most people found confronting, who sang angry girl music about irony and how &%$#@ she was, or maybe it was about how &^%$# everyone else was and she was perfect?? Its hard to tell these days..


I love angry girl music, what can I say.. It has helped me struggle through the worst of times, it has on occasion given me a backbone where before there had only been fear and self loathing..
I'm listening to the album as I write, I know every single word, every note, even the break in between.. Wow, she was an angry lady and lyrics wise I'd say a man was at the base of it.. .. And I completely get it.


On some level I guess singer/writers/famous people like Alanis give women a bad name when it comes to man bashing.. I am not a man basher, In fact I love men..!! I love the differences between men and women, I appreciate even the simple and apparent differences like a women's softness and the rugged masculinity of a man's physique in comparison, Its actually one of the things I like best about men, how feminine they make me feel, If only I allow it.. I don't believe in emasculating men from their role as hunter gatherers, in reality women don't empower themselves when they think they do because they supposedly don't 'need' a man's help.. In fact women who 'allow' men to "provide" so they feel like a galant knight, doesn't make women powerless..!! I personally believe, if we can make a man feel this way its actually very empowering..


Hell, I can mow my own lawns and I can change a car tyre, I can even do a head gasket or put Ikea furniture together if need be, but its so much nicer allowing men to be the saviour and us be the damsel in distress.. Its not a truth, especially in this day and age of capability, but if it makes both our ego's and all our needs to feel needed or loved are fulfilled then who really is it hurting.. Damn feminists..!!

Man-bashing was not all Alanis raged about on this album, she raged on about friends, parents, even the church, it was all about LACK, but still I listen.. Still I love it.. I finally can see this album, was borne I am quite sure at the time when she was going through her own 'dark night of the soul' and she was pissed off at every thing and everyone. I so get it, I've been there. Most people have.. I don't agree with a lot of her complaints, although at one time I did, and I really needed her..!! Especially during my first longterm relationship breakup, this album was my "YEAH.." moment everyday.. and even now I'm going yeahhh, but its on such a different level, and I'm really enjoying it..!!


Thank goodness for growing up, and wisdom.. Alanis {and all the other angry girl music I have or do still listen to} has taught me to allow my self-righteous rage, to empower myself, and most of all to not be a victim.. My age has taught me this album was most probably borne from victim mentality, I can own my decisions and my own part in issues these days, Ive learnt personal responsibility..


Don't think I'll listen to this album as faithfully as I once did, I've already moved on to Otis Redding, but I do still and I'm sure always will love it..
Thanks Alanis, Ive got one hand in my pocket and the other one is giving you the peace sign ;) xx


Mama, Madly.... xoxo

Trash or treasure and the adventure within..

When I was seven this friend of mine, I think her name name was Rebecca or maybe it was Elizabeth, well her name is irrelevant now, but anyway, she had miniature 'Hello Kitty' erasers.. and they smelt like strawberries.. How I coveted that rubber collection (no pun intended)..

When I was nine, I had the She-ra Crystal Castle & of course to go with that I had her brother He-man and his Castle Greyskull, including all their sidekicks, good and bad.. I loved that castle and that kickarse warrior woman more than life itself and was devastated when it was left behind in an interstate move..
Well, the list goes on, before and after these ages.. Four it was Holly Hobbie, 5yrs old I was obsessed with all things Strawberry Shortcake, six it was Rainbow Brite and her Sprites, I'm pretty sure by eight I was besotted with Punky Brewster and by eleven I had bought and read every Nancy Drew and Trixie Belden girl detective books I could possibly find..

I am now 35.. I am a mother a few times over, I have teenagers and little ones, I am a grown up, and last month I bought a set of She-ra dolls for my kids.. Ok, who am I kidding I admit it, they were for me.. My kids don't give a toss about any of the above toys.. The magic they imbued in my childhood has not transcended time, and there is no joy in my children's eyes when they look at them.. But I tell you what, sitting in the toy room with my new but old purchases it was like time stood still, stars lit the room and some romantic melody hummed its own tune in my head.. I was back in my childhood, completely in love, so pure and innocent..

As much as I giggle at my collections {and I have collections of all of the above plus some} and how I laugh at myself over my ecstatically zealous reactions at finding mint condition Cabbage patch dolls in Thrift shops etc, I really do appreciate the energy and relationship these inanimate objects have with who I am and have become today.. They ARE me..

We have so much 'spirit' and creative imagination when we are young, its really sad when life casts shadows over it.. I'm trying to bring back the magic, my 5yr old and the 18mth old (although she isnt yet understanding), go on big extensive "Treasure Hunts"!! We scour opp shops, trash & treasures and secondhand vintage markets. Looking for what hopefully as it states is, albeit someone else's trash, our very own exciting and beloved new treasure.. Sure we come home with a lot of what many would only call crap, but sometimes we also come home with pearls, that have created whole scenes or activities of unimaginable fun we build upon everyday.. I'm not going to apologise for being a big kid at heart, or having a slightly eclectic and eccentric collection of 'stuff'.. Instead I'm going to enjoy the moments I share with my kids building whole new fantasy worlds they can get lost in, and occasionally sneak in an play with these treasures all by myself..

I think everyone should go treasure hunting, and decide to make it their best adventure yet..
I'm definitely not about to stop...

Anyone feel like storming Skeletor up in Snake Mountain with me??? ;)

Mama, Madly xox

Time flies when you're being Mum..

I cannot believe it..
Four whole months have passed..
That's over 120+ days
Days when I absolutely had a lot to say but didn't..
It feels like I haven't been here forever.


I can only claim being lost to the world that is Mum.


I have had huge upheavals this year, my baby hit terrible 2's and she's only One, my 5yr old preppy A.S.D child with Cerebral Palsy finally after years of putting it off had to be medicated for his behavioural issues {a whole other blog} and my oldest lad left high school *Yr.10* to attend Tafe.
Whew, that in itself is a huge drama no one warned me about in the parenting advice people tend to dole out quite frequently, and all for free.. "One day your child will decide to do something you don't want for them, like leave school and >shabang< your own ego is shattered" yes I said it, I am honest, my ego! MINE..


I envisioned my son going on to an amazingly glittery, well paid, high end, upper class job where his brilliance and intelligence born and bred from myself would shine through, but it wasn't to be.. Don't get me wrong, My lad is ridiculously clever, has amazing scope in understanding any given concept, he is just not cut out for the classroom.. His mind wanders, he has itchy feet, he is completely and utterly forgetful and disorganised, all facts I'm ashamed to admit, he got from me... But I always saw him in a red velvet cape and crown...!!??


My biggest issue with this at the moment is the fact that its increasingly being brought to my attention how judgemental people are, and it makes me irate.. It also makes me irate that it had somehow rubbed off on me also.. Ive heard it indirectly at my kids schools, my work life and also in my personal life.. People talking about 'blue collar' and second class/ second rate, and white trash.. What happened to all this amazing enlightenment we've supposedly had?? The age of Aquarius?? When did society go so backward again??

I found myself getting sucked back in to that mindset, that where you live, what you drive, what u wear etc is who you are and then I had it intimated to me, that because my son will not {supposedly} go very far in life due to leaving school *gawwff* he isn't good enough for a certain girl who is so sadly clueless in her upbringing so far, I hate to think of adulthood, she has tantrums when she doesn't get her own way!! Mum passes it off as sensitivity *what the*.. yes well, cute at 14 maybe, at 24?? I think not.. big LIGHTBULB moment, thankyou epiphany, you little nymph you..


I try very hard to live an Organic life, don't misunderstand, I'm not a peace love and mung beans, recycle your toilet paper and grow your own radishes for 'energy shakes' kinda girl, but I do try to live as real and as honestly as I can, with compassion and love for the life that I live.. I want my children to embody these important ideals also, things that I believe only coming from a certain lifestyle can give you, things like appreciation for every chance you are given, without on some level feeling like you are entitled.. Thankfulness for all of your moments, the laughter, the smiles even sometimes the lessons being learnt from your tears.. I want my kids to appreciate silly things like just because they aren't brand name $200 jeans doesn't make the jeans that cover your bum from a lesser label any less worthy or the fact you are wearing them, make you less worthy.. If $50 jeans make us blue collar white trash then its a label I am happy to wear...


I want my kids to come from integrity and honesty. To be really real.. So when my son asked me if he could leave mainstream high school to finish yr.10 in Tafe and then start a Carpentry*builder* apprenticeship I was beside myself, and then I remembered that in actual fact a trade doesn't not equate to a 'lower socio economic' scale, or lack of intelligence, it rather gives my son a place to begin because school (and who are we kidding, its a joke these days whats being taught) wasn't going to ever take him as far as he could go.. Not only will he be working whilst also learning and still schooling he will be using his hands and creating, an art form no longer really passed on through the generations from father to son anymore. Something that has been lost to this world of computers and high finance and brand based worth, in all its shallowness, an art form like woodworking has quietly died.. I'm actually really happy when I think about it now, that not only has my son made an amazingly mature decision, I wont have to worry about him because even if the market drops out or there is a share crash, atleast he can build a roof over his own head..


and if the shit really hits the fan, The ARK was made from wood yeah!!??


till tomorrow (yes I promise to return) 
Mama, Madly...!!!