I want to conquer the world!!! feed the starving children!! Clothe the poor!! bring smiles and warmth to the masses!! Eradicate bigotry and racism!! I want to do everything that is good and just universally so, and I want to do it now..
Well actually I don't really, nice in theory {and my dreams} but in reality I just want to get through one day where I literally tick off every single thing as 'done' on my to do list.. For the moment, I might just attempt to tackle and conquer my definition of 'everything' instead of taking it worldwide..
I'm having some serious groundhog moments at the moment, pardon the pun, where school holidays are looming and my to-do-before-the-craziness-hits-list actually seems to have stuff on it {still..ahem} that was on it 3 lists ago.. what the!!??
I'm going through a funny mid 30's thing at the moment I like to call 'Trying to be a grown up'.. I always thought I'd be so old and wise and so very grown-up at 35 and guess what?? I'm not,and I feel so guilty about it.. I feel so guilty for not being 'perfect' and tidy and organised, and to be honest to actually give a shite about pressed pants and which polish makes my table shine or whether or not I'm up there with the Joneses.. Grown-up Mad Mama would like to be, But real Mad Mama hasn't yet caught up to that reality.. I'm still kicking around in my converse and hoodies, walking on occasion over my floordrobe to get into my bed, and leaving my dishes {yet again} until tomorrow, at some stage, maybe, possibly, um yes ok well..
I wonder, do I procrastinate and lose the wind in my sails on 'full steam ahead' days because on some level I don't want to grow up... No, maybe not.. I do want to be grown up, well I am really, but I have this amazing internal struggle against boring mundane everyday, well just, everyday.. and as for procrastination, like this blog, It always ends up getting done, right?? maybe four weeks later, at 1am in the morning with me in my jim jams but it's done!!! Isn't it!!?? sheesh...
The worst bit about this procrastination and lack of organisation is, I actually thrive if not blossom on routine and orderly virtue.. My house runs like clockwork, my children are happy, my life is less stressed & to be honest I actually get 'everythhing' done and still have time left over.. Give me a wall calendar, a timeline, a fortnightly shopping, cooking and cleaning list and I am one sorted and very grown up mama.. In fact I do believe given a good Rolodex, capable nanny and efficient secretary/time keeper I could quite well be the UN's best secret weapon.. Ever!!
Leave me to my own devices and a to-do list with no actual specifics on exactly how and at what time I am to do anything and i am like a petulant two year old with the virtual foot stomping of "noooo, I don't wanna'.. I am completely utterly hopeless.. And disorganised.. And thoroughly guilt ridden..
Well, I bought new washing baskets today (look back a few blogs to washing basket 101), a filing system, a new page per day diary, a pedometer, storage containers, and five huge pieces of cardboard to make up my next 3mths of calendars, a household roster and a fortnightly meals/shopping list..
I may not conquer world peace, But I am damn well going to conquer my disorganisation shambles..
and the dishes?? yeah well, they are going to have to wait....
Mama, Madly... xo
