I walked outside today, to say goodbye to my little girl.. I
was on my way to a lecture and she had wandered outside to meet her father who
was picking her up..
In that moment as I walked out the sun hit her hair as she
twirled the way little girls do, and beautiful golden blonde streaks shone out from amongst
her wild auburn locks that I love so much.. She was smiling and laughing, her beautiful green
hazel eyes sparkled with delight and her freckles looked like little sprinkles of
happiness dusted across her face.. In that moment that over whelming love we
have for all of our children welled up inside and poured out in a rush of
unadulterated joy.. I scooped her up in my arms and kissed her face all
over beneath squeals of delight, and when we stopped laughing I told her how
much I loved her.. She touched my cheeks next to my eyes tenderly and told me I
was beautiful.. I laughed it off and started tickle wars…
Whilst this was happening her father had turned up and in doing
me a favour, was tinkering under the bonnet of my car which was suffering from
a flat battery.. My little girl grabbed my face and said “Mummy, what’s daddy
doing?” I explained about the battery and how sometimes we need to change them
like in her toys.. She was totally fascinated with the engine and I was
explaining bits and pieces to her being no stranger to having worked on cars
myself, I’m a firm believer in anyone being able to do anything.. We spoke for a
while and I eventually said “I have to go Honey, but Romy, maybe one day
you could be a mechanic, and work on cars!!” To which she replied “No way, I
am going to be a princess!!” “Aw my darling you already are a princess, a
beautiful magical princess”…
My 3yr old daughter, my perfect, lovely, doe eyed, big
hearted, porcelain skinned, English rose, freckle sprinkled, amazingly
intelligent, witty, gorgeous three year old daughter turned to me and quite
seriously said “No Mummy, I said I'm going to be just a Princess, I’m not beautiful……….”.. I nearly
fell over.. She was told by both her father and myself in no uncertain terms
that she was in fact absolutely beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, her smile was
like sunshine and her eyes like little sparkling emeralds.. She did not need to
be a princess to be beautiful, because she was beautiful ALL the time.. Even women who are mechanics are beautiful.. She
laughed some more, hugged me and said “You are beautiful too Mummy”, and in
that moment I stopped and realised my response was very, very important.. “Yes
my darling, I am beautiful, and you are beautiful just like me”…This is a blog for everyone, but more so today it is about Mothers and daughters. We as mothers realise we have an obligation to our daughters to raise them up, recognise their inherent beauty in all they say, do and are.. The one thing we forget is to also build ourselves up. We are our daughters first port of call on the self-esteem journey, we don’t think or choose not to see, that calling ourselves ugly or fat or having a bad ‘face’ day is detrimental to ourselves even though it truly is.. But even worse what we really don’t see is that little face peering at themselves and us in the mirror as we get ready to go out, copying our every move, wanting to be like us, trying to emulate the only ‘woman’ they know how to be, their Mum’s.. They see us, they watch us, they hear us, they feel us..
Every negative word you utter about yourself you are saying to you daughter. Every time you put yourself down you are putting your daughter down. Every insult you give yourself or accept from someone else without question or even in humour you are pushing your daughter’s self-esteem further and further down. You are teaching her how to be a woman, and even though you may think you are teaching her how to be amazing and strong and independent it’s those small quiet moments, the just you moments, the soft moments, the together loving moments, the one's in which you invalidate yourself that she subconsciously equates it to her own self-worth..
Please, all I ask is be mindful.. Love yourself, compliment
yourself and remember every time you do you are building your most important
little ladies platform on which she will stand heart in hand for the rest of
her life.. You hand down your crown, is it worthy of your daughter or are you passing on a past of self loathing and hatred, a veritable crown of thorns..
She may be your princess, but to get there you have to be her Queen..
Mama, Madly… Xx
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