I have been absent.. Gone.. No writing, No anything.. For a long time,
and here's why
I have been disconnected.
Not in a powerful, I'm on a journey and eternal fulfilment and peace love and mung beans kind of way, but definitely a journey, one of discovery.
What I have discovered is by being externally connected especially in this day and age of technological break through and advancement my external connections disconnect me internally.
I got lost. On the super highway of the net.
We are all so conditioned as human beings to connect so when we do this via social media be it a platform like Facebook or be it picture sharing sites such as Instagram, the amazing selves we sell on dating sites or even over sharing like Blogging such as I am doing now, we believe we remain connected, but facts are we are not. We misread, miscommunicate, misinterpret and try to squish ourselves into others ideal's of us. Social media has become our new self sacrifice and relationship suicide.
Someone said to me today, "A friend of mine thinks you are out of his league, he looked at pics on your profile" and I laughed.. And laughed.. And laughed.. And then inside I cringed.. My response? Number one, your friend needs more self worth and number two a picture does not tell a thousand words, not these days, not anymore.
We are all so busy conveying this amazing life of happiness we lead and how every moment we share with others is blissful and fulfilling and heart loving, that we are not owning the reality of life. The highs and lows, the real and raw emotion of being alive. We have forgotten one of the biggest healers we have when we are real and in moments of sadness or pain is sharing that pain with others.. Living authentically gives us power to survive the waves of emotion, of being human, in not only a supported way, but it allows life to fulfill us in ways we never knew possible when we covered up all that was not gold.
We are so busy coming from what people look like on the outside and the quality of life they supposedly lead on the surface that we have forgotten quality is about what is on the inside, that the calibre of a person is measured in their compassion and empathy and integrity and acceptance and love.
We have stopped recognising our worth comes from who we ARE not how we look, or where we live or how we live or what car we drive, but in fact what drives us, in our hearts at the core of our beings. We allow peoples opinions to define us and box us and separate us and stop us doing what our hearts desire. We limit ourselves consistently based on other people's opinions and expectations of who they think we are, not who we truly are.
People who do not have the literacy give up on the idea of schooling because they do not want to appear stupid to others instead of recognising their bravery of envisioning a new life they are building for themselves.
People who come from nothing stop living and work ridiculously hard to build a financial life and future that looks good on the glossy pages of a magazine or social media page, but what fills their heart if they no longer have the time to live and love and laugh. Not the 'stuff' they acquire.
People who marry someone who ticks all the right boxes as far as what society says are definitive needs in a partner yet that person doesn't stimulate their mind or body on a deep soul level and there will never be a fire in the belly or the soul, it is mediocre love in this one life we have to live, it becomes a life less lived..
A mother who will not take her small children to the beach on a warm summer's day because she is overweight and worries what others think of her, a mother who misses out on creating precious memories with children who see her as the sun and the moon in their universe, disallows herself to truly live that with them because of other peoples opinions.......
The list is endless, the equations innumerable, but my absence has taught me well. We should not define ourselves on the opinion of others, we should not disconnect to connect on this horrible surface level of social media expectations we cannot and should never try to meet. One of the most amazing things about being a human being is our vast capacity to feel, all emotions, be they high or low, at least we feel. At least we love, at least we have each other. At least we connect.
We should quit the job, build the hut, marry the girl, wear the clothes, buy the shoes, have the baby, leave the life, wander where we want to go and do what we need to do to fulfil only one need. OURS.
I will no longer base my judgement of who I am, where I am going, what I am doing and where I have come from on other people's surface value opinion of who I am.. I hope this at least makes you think about it.. I hope this will make you go and look in the mirror and love what you see, I also hope that the things you see and don't like you also accept, because they are also things that make you, uniquely you.
I don't need to keep up with the Joneses, because with a name like mine it wouldn't suit anyway......
Peace out..
Mama, Madly xox
